What is Self-Advocacy?
Self-advocacy means understanding your needs and communicating them to others. It's the ability to speak up for yourself, ask for what you need, and make decisions about your own life.
For autistic people, self-advocacy is especially important because:
- Our needs are often invisible or misunderstood
- Systems (education, healthcare, employment) weren't designed for us
- Others may assume they know what's best for us
- We may have been taught to suppress our needs to "fit in"
Self-advocacy isn't selfish
Asking for what you need isn't demanding special treatment. It's ensuring you have what you need to function—the same consideration neurotypical people receive automatically because the world is built for them.
Know Your Rights
Self-advocacy starts with knowing you're entitled to accommodations and support:
- Education — Students have rights to accommodations under disability laws
- Employment — Workers can request reasonable accommodations
- Healthcare — Patients have the right to accessible communication and informed consent
- Public spaces — Businesses must provide accessible services
The specifics vary by country and context, but the principle is consistent: you have the right to access and participation.
Know Your Needs
Before you can advocate, you need to understand what you need. This can be surprisingly hard after years of masking or having needs dismissed.
Sensory needs
What environments help you function? What overwhelms you? Do you need quiet spaces, dim lighting, fidgets, or movement breaks?
Communication needs
Do you process verbal information well, or do you need things in writing? Do you need extra time to respond? Is email easier than phone calls?
Social needs
How much social interaction can you handle? Do you need advance notice of expectations? Do you need explicit rather than implied information?
Processing needs
Do you need extra time for tasks? Clear, step-by-step instructions? Fewer interruptions? Predictable routines?
Needs inventory example
How to Ask
Be specific
"I need accommodations" is vague. "I need meeting agendas 24 hours in advance so I can prepare" is actionable. The more specific you are, the easier it is for others to help.
Focus on function, not diagnosis
You don't always need to disclose being autistic. You can frame needs in terms of what helps you work effectively: "I do my best work with written instructions" rather than "I'm autistic and struggle with verbal processing."
Propose solutions
Come with ideas, not just problems. "Could I have a quiet space for breaks?" is easier to respond to than "The office is too loud."
Use scripts
Having prepared phrases reduces the cognitive load of advocacy. Our Social Scripts tool has templates for common advocacy situations.
It's okay to advocate in writing
If verbal advocacy is hard, email or written requests are completely valid. You can prepare your words carefully and have a record of what was discussed.
Setting Boundaries
Self-advocacy isn't just asking for accommodations—it's also protecting your energy and wellbeing.
Saying no
"No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe lengthy explanations for declining things that would harm your wellbeing. Practice phrases like:
- "That won't work for me."
- "I'm not available for that."
- "I need to decline."
Leaving situations
You can leave events, end conversations, or take breaks when you need to. Having exit strategies planned in advance makes this easier.
Protecting your time
Your energy is finite. It's okay to protect recovery time, limit commitments, and prioritize what matters most to you.
When Advocacy Fails
Not everyone will respond well to your advocacy. When you encounter resistance:
- Document everything — Keep records of requests and responses
- Escalate when needed — Go to supervisors, HR, or external bodies if necessary
- Find allies — Supportive colleagues, advocates, or organizations can help
- Know when to walk away — Some environments are toxic and won't change
Failed advocacy isn't your failure. Some systems resist change no matter how well you advocate.
Building Advocacy Skills
Self-advocacy is a skill that develops with practice:
- Start with low-stakes situations
- Practice scripts before important conversations
- Connect with autistic community for support and tips
- Celebrate small wins